‘We have screen time limits for our daughter — should we do the same thing for her dad?’

He works from home for his job so I know he’s using it while working too, I can hear the videos playing from another room when he’s between meetings.

This probably seems like a trivial complaint because he’s a great husband and a hands-on dad too. He always spends time with our little girl, playing with her or teaching her to tie her laces, how to read, and so on. He loves making memories with her and he’s so devoted to us both.

And I don’t think he’s texting other women or anything like that!

I’m worried that he’s actually addicted to his phone and that he’s accidentally setting a bad example for our four-year-old. We have screen time limits for her with her tablet and the television — should we do the same thing for her dad?

How can I talk to him about my concerns without sounding silly?

It certainly seems that your husband is using his phone like a third arm, a common sight in households today. Excessive phone use is a widespread issue, and it only becomes a problem when it starts to impact our lives.

You’re also concerned about the influence on your daughter, which is understandable and valid. Young children often mimic their parents’ behaviors, making it crucial to be mindful of our actions.

I’m glad infidelity isn’t a factor here! We can avoid that discussion.
If he starts going to Coldplay concerts though, then I might be worried!

It sounds like you have a strong relationship otherwise. He’s a dedicated husband and father, actively involved in creating memories and teaching your daughter valuable skills.

However, setting a good example extends to his phone usage, particularly given what we know about the impact of screen time on children.

Implementing boundaries sooner rather than later is key; establishing healthy habits now will be easier than breaking ingrained screen routines in the future.

You already have screen time rules for your daughter, but they don’t extend to you and your husband yet. While this may be acceptable for the moment, it will likely need to change if your husband continues his current level of phone use. Preparing for potential friction is wise.

While your husband may be physically present during Netflix evenings, he’s not fully engaged. His attention is elsewhere, and you might as well be watching alone. This likely developed gradually, so gently bringing it to his attention is necessary.

Working from home often allows for unchecked phone usage. Without oversight, it’s easy to reach for the phone habitually, leading to an unconscious pattern. This appears to be the case with your husband.

It’s a habit he’s developed over time that needs to be addressed for his benefit as well as yours.

Excessive screen time can negatively impact cognitive function, so addressing this has many benefits. How should you approach this conversation?

Leverage your understanding of your husband and frame this as a conversation, not a confrontation, about excessive phone use.

Encourage both of you to monitor your screen time. He may be surprised by the data.

Be honest about your concerns regarding your daughter mirroring his behavior and the need for mindful phone habits.

This may involve implementing “no phone” zones, like the kitchen and living room, but requires mutual commitment.

Leading by example is crucial to avoid resistance. Moreover, given the potential dangers children face online, it’s important to be proactively protective.

To answer your question directly, your concerns are valid, and you are acting responsibly as a parent. It is indeed tempting to rely on tablets, but the long-term consequences deserve careful consideration.

Once everyone is disconnected from their devices, plan family outings to create lasting memories.

Initiate these activities spontaneously, suggesting a beach trip, park walk, or hike.

By prioritizing real-world experiences over screen time, you’ll boost your family’s energy levels and set a positive example for your daughter!