Not being smart, but it’s having children. They are an endless fascination, a gift from the skies. They make your own existence into a peripheral, unimportant thing.
The love they give you. When they’re young, they look up to you so much. They love us unconditionally, look up to us, and find us inspiring, regardless of what it is we do, or how good or how bad we were in work that day. Kids just love you for being their parent.
It’s the greatest gift in my life. It healed a lot of stuff that happened in my own childhood. Being with your children allows you to make sure that certain cycles don’t repeat. That’s the great gift of it.
Proving to yourself that you really don’t know what you’re doing, and having to be comfortable with that.
You spend so much of your life trying to convince yourself that you know what you’re doing and you’re a responsible adult, and at the end of the day, two kids come into your life and you [realise] I’m just a big child in control of two children, and I get it all wrong, and that’s OK.
It’s how much I’m obsessed with them. I never realised how much I could love someone more than me, more than anybody, more than my husband.
Fatherhood opened my eyes in a different way to life. I’m mesmerised to see them smile every morning, and when I say “goodnight” and they say “bonsoir papa”, my eyes fill with tears. It’s the best feeling in the world being a parent.
Seeing them grow and progress through life, whether it’s academically or [in] sport; their personal growth stories are amazing to see.
Our eldest is working in an area she loves, living abroad and doing really well. The second is about to graduate and has been living and studying abroad for the last three years and is just about to start a new chapter in London.
Our youngest is heading into Leaving Cert and sixth year rugby and is looking to architecture, which I have a huge interest in, so I can’t wait to see how his career path pans out.
Loving in a way you’ve never loved before and being loved in a way you’ve never been loved before. And also, the longer it goes on, watching them becoming themselves is a joy.
Also it’s a good laugh in general. And then they get old enough to actually have a laugh with you, not quite peer-to-peer, but they get to a point when they can credibly take the piss out of you/with you. And that’s funny.
Getting to see your kids’ personalities and sense of humour develop before your eyes. It’s magic. That and seeing the joy your kids bring to your wider family.
Our twins have just finished their first year of secondary school and it has been so much pleasure watching them grow and flourish, each with their own personalities.
Without doubt, the cuddles, the giggles, and that deep connection. Being a dad is the greatest privilege; getting to guide, support, and help shape little humans. It’s a chance to serve and share the values that matter most.
It’s the magic in the ordinary moments — the belly laughs, bedtime chats, early morning cuddles. Being a dad has brought a depth of love and meaning I never imagined. It’s a daily reminder of what truly matters.
“You only get a lend of them.”
My own father was, and is, very big on the connection between siblings. He was always very big on fostering that relationship between myself and my brother, and it’s something I’d like to try and make sure happens between my own kids.
I don’t think I received any, to be honest. When I think about it, the legacy of his parenting was how to be spontaneous, not to take the rules so seriously. And I’ve passed that on to my own children.
I don’t know if I ever got any wisdom from my old man, at least nothing I can say in the newspaper, but if I learned anything from him, I think it’s that it is probably all right not to grow up yourself. In fact, it probably helps not to be a grown-up around your own kids. Being in the same frame of mind as your kids is probably a very good thing.
I was 16 when my dad passed away [so] any parenting advice is from my mom. My mom is my icon. She always said to me, stay happy, and stay healthy. Don’t think about what others say. Don’t try to copy any other person. Be you. And don’t envy anyone.
Be single-minded in your efforts for where you want to get to.
My father’s great motto about babies and children was “Let sleeping dogs lie”. He meant this pretty literally. If they’re asleep or otherwise engaged, leave them alone, don’t draw them on you. Which you can apply to anything in life, really.
Dad was amazing at vocalising his feelings with us as young kids. I always remember him telling us how proud he was of us, how much he loved us (he still does). Definitely something I’m taking straight out of his playbook. That and the importance of embracing joy and laughter in the house.
Both of my parents always said to be good and kind to people and to treat everyone like family.
Kids don’t learn from what you say, they learn from how you are. Your actions are the real lesson.
Our dad had this calm presence, and I’ve realised that being steady and grounded has more impact than any advice I give. Kids feel who you are more than they hear what you say.
You become more worried about external threats, climate change, wars.
It’s made me more empathetic, given me a stronger sense of other people’s needs. When you become a parent, you become acutely tuned into the needs of somebody else.
I don’t think there’s anything that impacts on your identity like becoming a parent. It absolutely changes you. The responsibility, but also the love that you experience. I think the love you have for your child is something incredible. It changes you, changes what you think about the world, how you analyse who you are, what you’re about — it should, anyway!
Yes, it’s changed me. I’m permanently exhausted all the time! It’s the first time in my life I have been around people I’m blood related to because I was adopted, so that’s an unusual one for me. It’s a very profound change. It’s changed literally everything. My hairline, my waistline, my times I sleep, my times I don’t sleep. Relationships. I cannot even remember the existence I had two years ago. People say, blink and you’ll miss it. Honestly, it’s been the longest two years of my life! But I don’t regret it. I love it.
It’s all about my kids now, spending time with them, building the family and enjoying every minute of it. It’s not about me anymore. I’m obsessed with fashion, but I sometimes forget to buy for me now, it’s all about the girls. So I’m changing in a beautiful way; I’m very content.
For sure, probably in a thousand different ways. All good, but you always worry whether they’re sick, flying off somewhere new, sitting exams, heading out onto the rugby pitch …
I suppose it has. Maybe I had to start growing up a bit. But who knows how much of your evolution is to do with any one thing? You’d like to think we are all growing and changing all the time anyway. Also, I lost interest in other people’s children for a while when I had my own. But you come back around again. I’m kind of partial to babies and cute little kids again these days. Maybe it’s evolutionary. Maybe I have grandad hormones kicking in now. In the olden days, I’d have been a grandad now. I am a granduncle, which is sobering. Granduncles used to be old men in my day. I should add I’m in no hurry to become a grandad.
It has and it hasn’t, to give a very unsatisfactory answer. I still think there’s plenty of pre-Dad Carl in me, but now that I have kids, I try to look at the bigger picture. I look at everything through the lens of our family and whether it benefits us as a whole. I’m not as much of a “yes man” anymore. Having kids is a great excuse to say no!
The first love you know is from your parents. And then the love of your wife is a new experience. We were married for five years before Connor and Lucia were born. And that is a whole new kind of love. We feel very lucky.
Fatherhood has changed me in every way. It’s hands-down the most fulfilling part of my life, probably because it requires all of me, every day.
Fatherhood has absolutely softened me. It’s cracked me open and taught me to listen better, love deeper, and let go more. It’s helped me grow up, in the best way.
Enjoy every moment. It is full of challenges, problems, worries, and catastrophes. The worst part? It’s over too soon. It will be 20 years of your life that someday you will know was the absolute golden time.
Buckle in, because it is a long ride. It’s definitely going to change you. Being a dad is a lot more than just making sure that they’re fed and watered and happy, you’ve got to try and mould them and facilitate them growing into a good person.
Parenting isn’t about being your child’s best friend, it’s about being supportive; being by their side, not on their side; allowing them to make mistakes. Understand that adolescence is all about making mistakes. That whole journey of watching someone develop, it’s the most remarkable journey. It’s what it’s all about. And it’s a gift; an absolute miracle. So it’s about celebrating that, but not losing yourself in all of that busyness.
You don’t have to do it! You definitely will love it if you do it. We had twins and people say, oh, you got it all done at once, but you can be done at one and you can be done at none. So there’s no pressure. There is no right way and there is no wrong way, there’s just your own way.
Don’t listen to anybody, unless it’s good advice. Every kid is different. Every parent is different. Don’t get brainwashed by other people. Make sure you listen to your kids. It’s all about communication. The number-one important thing for me is to listen to Blake and Blu and just go with the flow. That’s my advice. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
As small children, you do have to do everything for them but as they get older, let them grow, become independent, turn into their own persons and learn to respect them as they become adults.
The main bit of unasked-for advice I offer young or prospective parents-to-be it’s that it’s all phases, and just when you think you can’t take one phase anymore, babies magically sense they’ve pushed their luck and they switch to a new phase. So always remember, none of it is permanent. As I get older, and my kids get older, I think I have come to realise that all these people who are around trying to mould their children are onto a loser. I’ve started to think they just turn out the way they turn out. Our main job is to be there for them while they do it, and I suppose try and create a reasonably stable and reliable environment.
It’s truly wonderful. You genuinely can’t prepare yourself for the joy your kids will bring. It’s also OK to acknowledge that it’s hard, especially at the start. It’s tough, it’ll put strain on your work life, your personal life, you’ll mourn the loss of your identity before becoming a parent … But, it’s still the greatest thing you’ll ever do and you’ll love every second.
You are about to begin one of the most fabulous chapters of life. Don’t let it fly by. Enjoy it.
They won’t want bedtime cuddles forever, so soak it all in. Remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Focus on rhythms and routines that are sustainable, and show up with love. That’s what they’ll remember most.
Savour the little moments. They pass so fast. Build routines that support you and your family, because consistency beats perfection. And don’t forget to laugh, a lot. It makes everything easier.
