In January 2022 I went on a trip to Mexico with two Belfast lads — Aidan, a cinematographer I’d collaborated a lot with, and his best friend Fox. It was my first time meeting Fox, he became a great friend too.
We flew out at new year — it was really a whim, a last-minute idea that had come to us at Christmas, just to get out of the bleak winter. We spent three weeks there. We had an unbelievable time, the best craic.
At the beginning of the trip, I met an English guy in Cancun Airport, a hockey player for team GB. We had some pleasantries in the airport, we were going in different directions — just a nice pleasant encounter.
At the end of the Mexico trip, Aidan, Fox and I were going our separate ways — Fox to Belfast, Aidan to LA. I’d decided I wanted to spend a week travelling — I’m a very social creature and I’d never travelled on my own. I looked at the map… I thought Costa Rica looked nice.
I said goodbye to the lads. In a way I was ill-prepared. I hadn’t done my covid form properly. I was almost robbed in Mexico City Airport — I was a bit rocked by that.
Not a great start to this first trip out on my own! Mexico had been ebullient, cheerful, the three of us splitting the responsibilities. Now here I was, not having organised myself properly — it was a bit stressful.
I was flying to San José. Everybody said you wouldn’t want to spend too long there — it’s dangerous.
Lochlainn McKenna: “I just remember looking, and having no one to share it with, and having a very profound sense of loneliness, lack of connection. I remember being super lonely — what’s the point of experiencing any of this if I can’t explore it with others?”
The next day I went off to this little beach town, Santa Teresa, a surfer’s town I’d found online, an hour’s flight on a biplane with seven of us on it. It flew very low, really taking in the scenery, absolutely spectacular.
We landed in sweltering heat, 36ºC. A taxi drove me an hour over bumpy roads to the hostel I’d found online. I checked in, was ready to explore. Down onto the beach — proper palm trees, glistening sand, massive birds flying in a V, enormous iguanas six or seven feet.
A town on the edge of the jungle, littered with animals, a paradise. It was wow! An incredible moment, a pinch-me moment.
And I just remember looking, and having no one to share it with, and having a very profound sense of loneliness, lack of connection. I remember being super lonely — what’s the point of experiencing any of this if I can’t explore it with others?
There was a café I went to, had a beer. I was thinking ‘It’s kind of mad to be here and to have no one to talk to about this wonderment’.
Later, on the beach, I was watching people surfing. This amazing child came up to me. I had a point-and-shoot camera and he came over, didn’t speak much, but very precocious.
Lochlainn McKenna, photo taken by child he met on the beach
He picked up the camera and was examining it — he took a picture of me. Really sweet, funny. Looking at the photo now, I’ve a big broad grin but I can see a loneliness in my eyes.
That evening, back in the hostel, I went to my bunk and who was there only the English man I’d met at Cancún Airport. We were sharing a bunk — he had the underneath one.
It was a proper shock. I didn’t know him at all, had just met him for 10 minutes in the airport, the odds seemed impossible. I spent the rest of the week with him and his friends.
That loneliness on the beach, I’d never felt loneliness like it before. It was such a large feeling. I’d just come off the back of that rip-roaring trip in Mexico with those two lunatics. This moment I’d had on the beach made me realise how much I needed connection.
I’m an extrovert but I think there’s a lot of worth in spending time alone. Did I see more of the beauty because I was on my own? I saw less. I’d have experienced more if I’d had someone else’s brains and eyes alongside, to discuss and explore…
Towards the end of my time in Santa Teresa, I needed to get away so I checked into a hotel, just to treat myself. And it was basically a honeymoon resort, and I was there on my own!
I’ve rarely been single but I was single at that time. It was like something out of an American rom-com. I did feel lonely there, but that first experience on the beach was bigger.
I couldn’t have been more free, but I didn’t feel free at all. I felt lost. And yes, it definitely added to me. My mother always says ‘err on the side of doing’ — a great mantra to live by.
This experience told me how important connection is. The take-aways: how poor I was on my own, how I needed to work on that; and realising that in my life I want to share experiences with others.
- Lochlainn (Locky) McKenna is writer and director behind new podcast .
- Narrated by Killian Scott and supported by Vodafone, the series explores what happens when we put our phones away and connect with strangers in real life, capturing funny, moving and often unexpected moments from across Ireland.
- An Irish Top 50 podcast, it’s available on Spotify.
